Confidence

Internalising positive feedback

Confidence Boosting Exercise 2 – Internalising positive feedback

 

What is this exercise? 

This exercise will look at internal validation, and how by gaining an understanding of what this, and how it impacts you, you can improve your own overall levels of confidence. Be mindful that you will need to have completed the other two exercises before attempting this one.

 

Why is internal validation important? 

Internal validation is using our own positive view of ourselves to validate our experiences, and to reinforce the positive view we have of ourselves. This is so we don’t just depend on others to validate us.  Internalisation is the process by which we interpret and incorporate our experiences into our sense of self. For example:

 A Positive Interpretation  

You’re given an opportunity to step up at work. A positive way of interpreting and then internalising this experience may look like this: 

 “I’ve been given an opportunity to step up because I’ve been taking on more responsibilities and have shown I can handle it / have achieved / have the ability to learn on the job / etc” 

 The experience of being asked to step up can be internalised positively by looking at the situation and telling yourself:  

  • “I can handle it” 
  • “I’m good at my job” 
  • “I can learn new things” 

This internalisation fuels a positive self-image and in turn can be used to validate that sense of self when things get tough.  

“Stepping up is harder than I thought, but I know I can handle it / I can learn new things – I’m going to be ok” 

 

A Negative Interpretation 

A negative interpretation of this experience, one that comes from a negative self-image could look like this: 

  • “I’ve only been asked to step up because there’s no one else to do it, I’m not their first choice, just their only choice.” 
  • “I’ve been asked to step up, but I’m just blagging it and now they’ll find out” 

The interpretation of the experience is founded on a negative self-image. It is one where we feel we have nothing to offer, we’re passive in our lives, things just happen to us. It is not due to our own actions. 

The good news is that it’s possible to learn how to internalise positive experiences and change our self-image into one that is more balanced, kinder and a truer reflection of who we are. 

If you are experiencing too much resistance to get into this, or feel overwhelmed by your feedback, we have dedicated mental support for those that feel they need help. Head to our website filmtvcharity.org.uk, or call our 24/7 Film & TV Support Line on 0800 054 0000 

 

Confidence Boosting Exercise 2:

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Task: You are going to create a list of first-person statements based on the outputs from the Ask Five People and Success Timeline exercises. 

TIP: Once it’s made, keep this list close and come back to it when you feel yourself becoming more negative, and if you need a reminder of all your wonderful attributes 

Take a look at your feedback from the Ask Five People exercise. Take each item and turn them into first person statements. 

For example, your friend said the thing they value the most about you is your compassion.  

Write a statement in your list that says: “I am compassionate” 

Look at your Success Timeline, you should have a list of the strengths you have, that you can use to make your wins happen. Add these to your list in the first person. 

For example, if you took a brave decision that led to an amazing opportunity, write in your list: “I am courageous.” 

Finally, read the list out loud. It’s even more effective if you can read it to another person. 

This exercise might feel a bit uncomfortable if you are not used to thinking or speaking positively about yourself. However, owning these parts of your identity, without any padding, is key to experiencing a more positive sense of self. 

 

Tips 

  • If this feels too difficult, notice those feelings. What stories are you telling yourself right now? 
  • Notice your thoughts – what are they saying? Is it true? 
  • What else could be true? 
  • Finally: how is it serving you to resist doing this work?  
  • What do you gain by resisting? What do you lose? 

Conclusion 

Challenging our self-perception is a complex topic. If feel you have experienced bullying, harassment, or discrimination whilst working in the industry, you are more likely to have a distorted self-image.  

If you want to go deeper, or get more support building your confidence levels, coaching is an excellent way to do this. Get in touch with Kate via her website, or email [email protected], to organise an introduction, have a virtual coffee, and explore how you could work together.

Finally, head to exercise 3 and find out how to build a success timeline so that you can fully absorb the learnings from this exercise.  

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