Ask Five People, Five Things

Confidence Boosting Exercise – Ask Five People, Five Things

What is this exercise?

This confidence boosting exercise invites you to collect feedback from various people in your life. We want you to look at the strengths of these conversation, what they reveal about you, and how you can adjust your self-perception to be more positive. To create a more well-rounded view of yourself, you are going to ask five people whose opinion you trust and respect five questions. Let them know they should take about five minutes to answer them: you’re not looking for an essay, just their gut response.

Why is this important?

When you’re experiencing low self-confidence or low self-esteem, you are seeing yourself through a distorted lens. Our shortcomings and failings are accentuated. The times we didn’t ‘make it’, the times we fell short, or our current struggle can be at the front of our minds. These experiences can overwhelm us and become real barriers to seeing ourselves with more kindness and objectivity. To help redress the balance of our self-perception it’s useful to invite in other perspectives.

This exercise is an opportunity and an invitation to do exactly that!

If you are experiencing too much resistance to get into this, or feel overwhelmed by your feedback, we have dedicated mental support for those that feel they need help. Head to our website filmtvcharity.org.uk, or call our 24/7 Film & TV Support Line on 0800 054 0000

Confidence boosting Exercise 1:

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1. How to: Ask Five People, Five Things

Choose five people whose opinions you trust and respect

Choosing people you trust, and respect is crucial. Your first reaction to reading their feedback might be to dismiss it if you feel uncomfortable receiving praise, compliments, or positive feedback from them
You need to be able to look at the feedback and trust their thoughts about you.
It’s also an incredible gift to yourself to ask five people from different areas of your life. In doing this you can build up a picture of how you are perceived in various areas.
You can see themes and constants emerge which will help to redefine your self-image into a more positive one.

Some ideas of who to ask include:

Trusted colleagues or bosses, past or present
Close friends, from different circles or times of your life
Partners, siblings or family members who you have a strong, positive relationship with

2. Get in touch with them and let them know you’re doing some personal development

This will be the hardest step in this exercise. Ask yourself this: what would you do if this person asked you to answer five questions for them? Remember, you are not a burden!

To help you out in case this really feels too hard (which is perfectly normal) here’s some suggested copy for an email or message to get you started. Feel free to edit as you see fit!

Hey [person I trust],

I might have mentioned I’m thinking about [taking the next step in my career, making a change, whatever is on your mind that has led you to this worksheet] so I’m doing a coaching exercise to help me get clearer on my strengths.

For the exercise I’ve been tasked with asking five people whose opinions I trust, to answer these five questions for me. It will only take five minutes:

[Insert your questions here]

I’d be grateful to read your thoughts.

Let’s hang out/get a coffee/watch a film/unpack the new film out on Netflix soon!

Yours,

[Your name]

3. Questions you can ask

What one word or phrase describes me best?
What do you think is my greatest achievement?
What do you value most about me?
What one thing could I change for my own benefit?
What do you believe to be my greatest strength?

These questions have been specifically designed by master coach Kim Morgan to pull out your strengths. You will notice only one question focuses on an area for improvement.

4. Reflect on the feedback as it comes in

TIP: You may want to write down the answers to the following questions. Capturing your answers on paper can be very powerful.

Notice how you feel as you read your feedback.

What’s it like to read?

If you feel overwhelmed, this is completely normal. There are few moments in life when we invite our dearest to share, without filter, the positive traits they see in us. Sit with their words.

Is there any feedback you want to reject? Do you notice any resistance as you read?

What patterns do you notice in the feedback?

What comes up across the different parts of your life?

What does this mean about you, as a human? As a friend? A colleague? A partner? A family member?

And, in what ways has this changed how you see yourself?

Conclusion

Make sure you celebrate yourself for your commitment to growth, and for the bravery it took to reach out to your five people! Well done, it’s no small thing!

If you want to go deeper, or get more support building your confidence levels, coaching is an excellent way to do this. Get in touch with Kate via her website, or email [email protected], to organise an introduction, have a virtual coffee, and explore how you could work together.