Listen, acknowledge, act
These guides offer some simple but effective steps to help people deal with reports of bullying, harassment, and discrimination. Developed using behavioural science, they can support those faced with difficult situations to act humanely and not freeze out of fear of doing the wrong thing.
- Listen: Gives tips to help someone feel heard, able to share and not judged.
- Acknowledge: How to be an active bystander and show you understand the potential impact of the situation.
- Act: Take appropriate steps either in your capacity as a manager, or by passing it on if you’re a bystander.
Listen
If someone opens up about a difficult situation, especially if it’s the first time they’ve done so, your response can really matter. If you’re unsure how to provide meaningful support, Active Listening – which just means genuinely paying attention and engaging with the person sharing their experience – could make a significant difference.
Behaviour connected with bullying, harassment and discrimination thrives when it remains unnoticed in the workplace. Targets often feel lonely, but Active Listening can help them feel acknowledged, validated, and less isolated. By offering empathy and support to those going through such experiences, we not only benefit the targeted individual but also contribute to creating a healthier work environment for everyone involved.
Active listening is an enhanced form of listening to others. It helps us understand a situation or another person’s perspective more deeply and creates an environment where people can build trust and feel safe.
In normal conversations we tend to be thinking about what we will say next; perhaps trying to come up with ideas or solutions or to share a similar experience. There’s often a temptation to give advice. Active listening means we put all these distractions aside and focus our attention entirely on the speaker.
Remember that solutions can look different for everyone. Active listening encourages us to fully engage with the speaker’s individual perspective and context.
If you are talking to a colleague, the act of providing a listening ear and a non-judgemental space might be enough. They might ask you to keep the matter private – you should respect this but also consider the risks of not reporting the situation and explore options with them. You could offer to be present at a conversation with their Line Manager and to submit notes if it helps.
You should treat this conversation as an informal report of bullying, harassment or discrimination and respond in line with your company policy. It’s a good idea to make a note summarising the issues and the agreed action points.
Share further sources of support with them, such as our Support Line, and agree to monitor the situation going forward. Depending on the seriousness of the report, you may need to escalate it.
- Think about creating good listening conditions to enable the speaker, such as a quiet, confidential space where you won’t be disturbed.
- Give the speaker time, as they might not be able to tell you everything in a linear way or all at once.
- Be mindful of the speaker’s body language, tone of voice, mood and emotion.
- Adapt your posture and body language to support your listening – angle yourself towards them, maintain comfortable eye contact and smile where appropriate.
- Demonstrate interest and warmth – use non-verbal cues like nodding to reassure and encourage.
- Consciously soften your voice and tone.
- Approach the conversation with genuine curiosity for the speaker’s situation.
- Listen with your focus on understanding rather then immediately responding.
- Put aside any judgement or personal opinion.
- Try not to interrupt the speaker with your advice or thoughts. Use listening phrases and open questions to help the speaker connect with the best solutions for them.
In some cultures, direct eye contact is considered rude and might be uncomfortable for someone disclosing something difficult or upsetting. Some people will prefer to look away or look downwards.
Some neurodivergent people may prefer to stand or walk around or fidget as they speak. It is important to simply allow people to do what makes them feel most comfortable and able to share.
Reflect and agree action points together to end on a supportive and transparent tone. For example:
- Thank the speaker for sharing their difficult experience with you
- Give a short summary sharing the speaker’s key points back
- Ask them – is there anything I’ve missed?
- Ask them – is there anything else you’d like to add?
- Sum up the agreed points
- Agree a course of action
Example: Thanks for telling me about your experience today – I appreciate how hard it can be to come forward and talk about these things. To sum up – we agree these 'jokes' are actually micro-aggressions that are hurtful and inappropriate, and that this situation needs addressing swiftly.
So far, we haven’t decided what to do exactly – but you will go away and think about the mediation options we talked about and I will make sure I cross-reference with our bullying and harassment policies.
You will also call the Film and TV Charity helpline to see what they suggest. We will meet to discuss this again in two days’ time and agree next steps together. Is there anything I’ve missed here or anything else you’d like to add?
- Paraphrase: Seek understanding by paraphrasing, e.g. “It sounds as though you’re having a really tough time with this person and really confused about what to do”
- Mirror: Repeat keywords so people feel understood, e.g. “I can really sense how angry you are right now”
- Gain clarity: Check that you are understanding the situation fully, e.g. “It sounds like you’re feeling as though you really need this behaviour to stop now – is that right?”
- Open questions: To help the speaker connect with the best solutions for them.
- What have you already tried in this situation?
- What would a good solution to this look like for you?
- What next steps might you/we take?
- How could I/we best support you in this situation?
- Would you like me to just listen today or offer some thoughts and guidance?
- Do you have people outside work also supporting you?
- Very Well Mind provide guidance on active listening.
- The School of Life have developed a video on being a good listener.
Acknowledge
Witnessing bullying can be distressing and compromising. We might like to think that we would know how to intervene, but witnesses of bullying situations, known as bystanders, often don’t feel able to respond.
Active bystanders have a key role in creating an anti-bullying workplace culture by preventing, discouraging, and intervening when negative and unprofessional behaviour occurs. The target may want to avoid causing conflict within their team or they might fear repercussions, but drawing attention to negative behaviour can actually improve the workplace for everyone. The BFI’s guidance on addressing bullying stresses that ‘doing nothing makes you complicit’ and urges witnesses to report it.
When experiencing bullying, targets and bystanders can often be caught off guard, or feel as though they don’t know what to do or say. By adopting simple intervention techniques, known as the three “D”s, targets of bullying can be better protected.
- Direct: Intervene directly – address the bully and their behaviour directly – only call them out if the situation is safe and seems unlikely to escalate. Try to talk calmly to the person who’s bullying and tell them that you find their behaviour unacceptable. You could say, “this doesn’t feel like an appropriate conversation, can we take a break?” or “I’m uncomfortable with the tone of this conversation, I’d like it to stop”
- Distract: Think up a tactic to diffuse the situation. You might engage with the person being bullied in order to deflect attention away from them. You might be able to get either the bully or victim to walk away in order to change what’s going on. You could say, “I need a quick chat with you in private”. If you need a more urgent approach, you could spill your drink.
- Delegate: If you don’t feel comfortable with direct intervention, engage help from someone else. If you’re not in a position to address a situation alone, there may be someone nearby or someone senior you can recruit to help.
- Check in to ask how they’re feeling.
- Apply the active listening approach outlined above and validate their feelings.
- Let them know that the way they were treated was inappropriate and unprofessional.
- Ask what you can do to help.
- Share information on reporting options, support, and other resources so you can help the person being bullied by reminding them what is available.
- One of the most powerful weapons we have against bullying behaviour is our ability to document an incident. Record the details of any acts of bullying you witness, or you are told about, with the date, time, person, and facts.
Ideally the person being bullied will be comfortable about you sharing the information with a trustworthy person in a position of authority. If possible, begin with your Line Manager or the designated person named on your employer’s Bullying Policy. You can ask to have a confidential conversation in the first instance, to explore how the situation might be handled. If the target asks you not to communicate with anyone, you must consider the wider risks of not doing so.
If you or your colleague reports the bullying behaviour and it isn’t addressed, you can make a complaint. Speak to our Bullying Advice Service for guidance on this and tell your colleague how to apply for our bullying support.
Act
To help you decide how to assess the appropriate course of action, we have produced the following “three tiers” of risk, to serve as guidelines to help you figure out the best course of action.
Support available for you
Bullying, harassment, and discrimination in the workplace can have a significant and negative impact on workplace wellbeing. For targets of these behaviours, it can cause feelings of distress, isolation and humiliation and high levels of anxiety and stress.
Observing other people being bullied can also have a huge impact. Your work may have a Mental Health First Aider, a Wellbeing Facilitator or Employee Assistance Programme (EAP) which could provide emotional support.
You can also access advice from the Film and TV Charity’s Bullying Advice Service and anyone working behind the scenes can access in-the-moment support and request a referral to six sessions of counselling via our Film and TV Support Line.
All our services are free, totally confidential and completely impartial. Just call us on 0800 054 0000 and one of our advisers will be happy to help.
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Bullying Advice Service
Our Bullying Advice Service can support you if you’ve experienced or witnessed bullying, harassment, or discrimination at work.
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Mental health and wellbeing
Support to help you manage your own mental wellbeing, and help others to do the same.